Wish I Was A God No More

Yet another year
I am decorated
and celebrated

They make
more of me
and bigger too
more money, I guess
to show their faith

They don't like me
anymore
for who I am

They make me
more human-like now
a Army man,
a policeman
a politician
a cricketer
a movie star
a cartoon character too

Adding more colours
and more grandeur
It resembles me
yet it does not

Have they lost the plot
or am I too old
to understand
I know not

Everyday
flowers
crackers
loud music
and dancing
leaving
a decaying
destruction
in its fray
to be cleaned
by the untouchables

And in time,
its time to say goodbye
with much fanfare and noise
they see me off
Visarjan they call it
dumping me
in the big wide ocean

There are thousands more
every year
me and me and me
choking the waters
and its peaceful inhabitants

When all is done
and dusted
left alone
and abandoned

Awaiting as I dissolve
in ever delaying plaster
a million fish and more
die a silent death
in service of humankind
whose all but abandoned them

What use am I
a god for none
there to feed
an ever rising ego
and kill
those silent beings
that I lovingly
brought into a
nurturing world
long lost its way
to greed and pomp

Wish I wasn't
a god no more
wiped from memory
of a humankind
so blinded with me
that they fail to see
the destruction they bring
to my most beautiful creation

I sigh
and wait
yet another occasion!

Prompted to write when I saw this terrifying video - https://www.facebook.com/indiatimes/videos/2222166398014603/

Here You Belong, Go Find Your Bed

Dim, dark streets
What am I looking for?
What am I running from?
Running to

There is a excitement in the fear
Is it the seeking that urges me on?
Or the instinct to find, to belong

I run through the back alleys
Knowing not where to turn
Yet my body moves
Knowing
Taking me to where I need to be

A building
Like none I have seen before
Crumbling yet alive, buzzing
Tall like holding many secrets
A city within itself

I run
Bodies all around
In the doorways and alleys
In the corridors and stacks of rooms
The small, the big, the round and the Mis-shapen

I run
Towards them or away from them
I know not
But I run
Passing their empty eyes
They look through
Not seeing me
Yet knowing me
Intimately like a lover

Their gaze
It's perturbing
Wanting
Needing
Surprisingly loving

I run
Floor after floor
A never ending maze
Of bodies and eyes

I reach the pinnacle
A spectacle of a million bodies
Adults and children
The able and disabled
In decay and yet thriving
A sea of humanity

I hope and seek sadness
I find only joy and laughter
I assume decadence
Yet in their poverty
I find thriving
I look, I seek, I wonder
Confused with this wondrous unreality

A kid
With a smile
I haven't known in life
A body so frail
Yet eyes so alive

"Here you belong,
Go find your bed!"

And bang
I am awake
In my one dimensional world
Struggling to belong
Yearning to go back
To the land of decay and alive!

Quit

A kid
struggling
to understand
this complex adult world
like a physics problem
he never understood

He tried
sincerely did
the complex world of physics,
I try
sincerely do
the complex world of relationships

What is that I am missing
What about me can't I change
What don't I understand
Why don't I understand
My mind a blank

Is it a game?
If it is,
I don't know the rules
I lose miserably
and like any bad loser
I wish to quit

~ 24th October 2013