Raped

Tata (grandpa)
I fondly called him

Then the Rapists
one after the other
all
known to me

Kind eyes
turned lusty
heavy bodies
smelly orifices
Were they 17?

The beatings
Threats
Sneers
Cold laughter
Sent a chill
Until a log was I
Dead, yet alive

The laughter still rings
jarring my being
drowning my screams

Pleadings
Just 12, I am
falling to deaf ears

Would it be over soon
Wished I of death
Willed I of death

Time became a whisper
Dark I befriended
For light
an unfortunate reminder
Still alive am I?

12, I said?
Just right
They cheered
Hunger in their eyes
Meat I be

Let me go
Not to my birther
For I don't wish her
To see me
butchered

Let me go
To my creator
So he can face me
For it must be a He

7 months?
I know not
Time stood still
The day it began

My body
My being
My soul

RAPED

Don't Educate Me Mom

Don't educate me mom
for I might have dreams
different from yours.

Don't educate me mom
for I might want to make choices
that will make you cringe.

Don't educate me mom
for I might want to take care of you
and choose not to marry.

Don't educate me mom
for I might stand up to dad
and reject his views.

Don't educate me mom
for I might fall in love
and embarrass your family.

Don't educate me mom
for I might have ambitions
greater than your aspirations.

Don't educate me mom
for you might not find a man
who respects an independent woman.

Don't educate me mom
for I might bring up my children
different to how you brought me up.

Don't educate me mom
for I might end up hurting you
when I make my own choice.

With education,
I will learn to think.
I will learn to form my opinions
and expand my horizons.
I will learn to build relationships
failing in some.
I will form my own values
and choose my own life journey.

Choose to keep me home,
my dear mom for I love you.

Educate me and
I will be
my own person
and lose your love.

A dedication to the many women in my life and work who are fighting to be their own person in their own families.

I Am Not Odd, I Am Unique

From dust and toil I was Born
To the same Mother as my brother.

Yet I am different and he is not
He is the pearl of her eye
I am the coal untouched.

He laughs, plays and makes merry
I wash, clean and work for him.

He studies
I work.

He lives
I hope to live.

Will it always be like this?
Yes says my Mom. 
You are a girl, he a boy
You are a curse, he a boon
You live for him, he lives!

I wish to be ME
Not me as the world says
I dream but with limits
I wish to be free to dream!

Am I odd, I ask
He replies, 
"You are not odd my child
You are unique,
Just like all else,
You are one in a Billion
Born to laugh, smile and live
You Will my child."

~ 5th February 2005. My first poem.