Thursday, July 1, 2021

Men, So Much We Get Away With

He is a charmer

Always impeccably dressed

An air of mystery about him

Young boys dream of becoming him

She was caught hook line and sinker

In his unfailing charm

 

Their wedding was a dream

Stuff of legend

Marriage was another story all-together

Everyone overlooked

As he made bad business decisions

Took to alcohol and gambling

Daily beatings followed

Made life a living hell for her

 

She tried to walk away

But they sent her back

He is your family now

Give him a child

And change he will

She bore him one

A son sewn in his cloth

 

He only got worse

Till one day, he ended his life

Could no longer handle

His bad decisions

Mounting debts

And the threats of lenders

Leaving her

To pick up the broken pieces

Of his failures

 

Her family

Still only remembers

How charming he was.

 

He was born to greatness

Far he will go

In furthering the family name

He grew up believing

Special he was

A business he inherited

Like he deserved it

Not having earned it

 

She grew up in a village

Under the watchful eyes

Of her father and brothers

 

Their families

Brought them together

With love and expectations

 

Work is all he did

Running a successful business

For 50 years

From dawn until dusk

Three lovely children

She bore him

And that was that

Her place in his life

 

In the dusk of his life

A living hell she experienced

As he demanded care

For a deteriorating body

 

With guilty relief she sighed

On his passing

No more abuses

In the twilight of her life

 

‘Maybe, I can live a little now’

Only to realize

She does not know

How to live

For herself

Anymore.

 

As a young boy

He saw men around him

Treated like gods

And so, he believed

About himself

 

They married her to him

For a decent man he was

A breadwinner, a mother

A confidante and a dutiful wife

She was meant to be

Forty years hence too

 

He failed as a husband and father

Unavailable as he was

Physically and emotionally

 

He hid his own failures

In the power he had over her

Controlling her desires and aspirations

With disdain and jealousy

In silent micro-aggressions

That kept his decent façade intact

 

It has been years since

He contributed anything financially

To run a family of seven

Yet, an inflated sense

Of his own contribution he carries

 

Never a broom

He has ever lifted

Or a soap to do the dishes

 

Like two strangers

They lead their lives

Yet,

She can’t admit to herself

She is possibly better off

Without him

 

For, who is she

Without his family name

Slowly and steadily

Her identity eroded

In service of her man

 

Not a word of criticism

She can take against him

For a God he is

As her mother taught her

And Gods don’t have flaws

Even as they make her life

A living hell.

 

He is a school dropout

From an illustrious business family

Carrying the family name forward

She is a double graduate

From a family barely surviving

It’s her angelic looks that win him over

 

Within days in the marriage

She knows her place

Kitchen it will be

For the rest of her life

It has become her place to be

In silence

In service of him and his family

 

The abuses started

Soon after the honeymoon

And have continued hence

 

The more he failed

The more violent he became

Society understood

Empathized even

Isn’t he trying?

 

They looked the other way

When she woke up with bruises

Yet another morning

Lied that she fell off the bed

His reputation intact

For he was, after all

The darling of his and her family

 

For over three decades

She has stood by him

In his multiple failed businesses

Troubles with the law

Mistresses et al

Depression and Illness too

 

With grace and silence

Or is it fear

She stands by him

Even as he blames her

For his failures and misfortunes

 

Their kids couldn’t wait

To get out a minute too long

As they found escape routes

From an abusive father

They made their own choices

Hoping their lives would be better

Forgetting that they carry

The demons of their dad

In their own relationships

 

Men of all hues

The charmers

The businessmen

The decent ones

And the one with lineage

So much we get away with.

Thursday, June 4, 2020

Expectant Gaze

Muddled Head

Heavy Heart

I Walk

Not To Seek Solace

Just To Breathe

Behind My Blue Mask.


Soon Enough

I See Them Lined

As They See Me

I Catch Her Gaze

Welcoming

Hesitant And 

Expectant 

And Then Another

Yet Another

All Lined Up

Seeking A Buyer

To Their Earnest

Livelihood.


Further Down

A Familiar Smell

Wafts Through The Air

Crispy Pakodas

Fresh Out Of A Fryer

As She Serves

A Hungry Soul

I Catch Her Gaze

Welcoming

And Expectant

Luring Me 

To Buy Her Wares

So The Old Couple

Could Have A Meal Tonight.


I See Them

Everywhere Now

Those Expectant Eyes


That Rickshaw Puller

Seeking His First Ride

On A Listless Day


That Tiny Shop

Run By An Old Grandpa

Offering Photocopying

In A Locked Out City


That Chocolate Store

Newly Opened

With Dreams 

That Shattered Too Soon


That Flower Lady

Who Walked Miles

To Get A Fresh Bunch

Before Daybreak

Stringing Them Together

In Hope

Of A Faithful

Wanting To Please

His Despondent God


An Expectant Couple

Looking Beyond 

The Curtained Confines

Of A Locked Up Temple

Seeking Blessings

From Their Invisible God

As They Hope 

For A Girl

To Hold Together

The Last Few Shreds

Of A Broken Marriage


The Juice Center

The Vegetable Vendor

The Tea Maker

The Gift Shop

And The 

Hungry Mongrel

Seeking A Friendly 

Sapien,

A Expectant Gaze,

They All Carry.


For

An Expectant Gaze

Awaits Them

As Their Guilty Eyes

Make Their Way Home

Not Having Earned

A Penny

In A Whole Day’s Toil.


Hungry Eyes

Hopeful Souls

Seek Answers


How Much Longer Mom?

Before We Are Seen

By This Decaying World

And Its Apathetic People


How Much Longer Dad?

Before They Realize

We Are Humans Too

Not Castaways In 

The Peking Order

Of Economic Choices


A Muddled Head

An Even Heavier Heart

I Trudge Back Home

Unable To Breathe

Behind The Weight

Of An Expectant Gaze. 

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Frail Old Aunt

There she was
walking
a tiny step
after another
gingerly balancing
on uneven surface
invisible footpath
amidst rushing
unseeing traffic.

She walked
tired
dragging
her frail old body
through yet
another day.

I saw her
that day
as I rushed
through my day
sped past her
without a second look.

A momentary flash
Maybe
Just maybe
today can be different
What will it take
just a moment longer
to give her a ride
ease her burden
for what are
a few precious moments
in my scurrying life.

The thought vanished
as fast as it arrived
and I continued
speeding
to aimless
destination
in pursuit
of a youthful dream,
burying my voice
deep in my busy ness.

A few months
later
as I sped
again
the familiar road
of uneven surface
invisible footpath
amidst rushing
unseeing traffic
She was missing
and so was her
frail old body,
never to be
seen again.

A pang of guilt
crossed my heart
as I sped past
yet another day
to an aimless destination
in pursuit
of a youthful dream
that could not stop
a moment longer
in service of
a frail old aunt. 

It's Time Now

It is but the human condition
To ignore the impending doom
For life to go on as usual

As I walk my streets
In the predawn breeze
I see not the beauteous universe
Just human discard
Thrown with scant disregard

Drunk in our own ego
For we are the owners of the earth
And everything it means
It belongs to only me
For me to treat it as I please

Ah! The Ego of the human condition
Believing it to be lords

Scurries away this scant ego
On the first sign of danger
For so frail is our ego
To be scared of its own folly

Maybe the virus is the antidote
To the human virus
Whipping it out
For its time has come

Your time has come
We will reclaim the earth
From the scum
Of human waste
Roar the silent trees
As they stake claim

To God's Earth

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Ruffled Hair

Ruffled hair
unkempt shirt
holed shorts
sockless and
unlaced shoes
He walked
to school
looking down
staying invisible
Furtive glances
playing hide and seek
through piercing eyes
he makes his way
to his
daily torture.

A moment
longer
he awaits
becoming steely
sighing with
resignation
he enters
the rusted gate.

Whispers
become
full blown
laughter
as crowds
circle his
small frame.

Poking sticks
and furling stones
greet him
to this
temple of learning

Not one
touching him
disgusted as they are
by his unkempt being
and smelly
unbathed body
Holding noses
with
disgruntled noises
poke they do
and run as fast.

The brave ones
kicking him
around.
Quietly, he endures
It's momentary
right?
Not knowing
the trauma
has made
home
deep in his
body
for a
lifetime to come.

An invisible
corner
in a dingy room
he seeks
at best
hoping.

In he walks,
purposeful
Cane in tow
with
starched white
and pleated blacks
Shoes as
clean as new
and hair
gelled
nicely
into place.

Scans he
with disdain
his proteges
who await
in fearful silence
for their inevitable
turn.

Its always him,
sharp eyes
make the silhouette
of his
hidden frame
a glee
shone in his eyes.

Ram he roars!
sending shivers
down the
entire herd
his voice
booming
the cane plush
ready to fulfil
its master's bidding.

Not again,
groans Ram
Why do I
even try,
he walks
dragging his
unkempt being.

A swish
cuts through 
the still air
splitting skin 
in abused palms
Yet
another day
in paradise.

Feeling
exceptionally
generous
he demands
for parted cheeks
in between naked legs
Another swish
cuts the pregnant
air
tearing through
dark pink skin
in gleeful joy.

Ram holds
willing
himself,
'not for him
a single tear.'
Again and again
the master goes,
splitting cheeks
to expose bone
and broken spirit.

A silent tear
the class bully
too drops
as he
watches
this dance
of terror.

a gloomy day 
ensues
in dingy corridors
of broken walls
wailing
the loss of childhood
for yet 
another day.

Not one
ruffles his
hair
no more
staying away
from his smelly
unkempt being,
bloodied body
and
broken spirit.

Never again,
he promises
as he takes
his last step
out of the
hallowed
gates
of this
temple of ruin.

Years later,
as he brutalizes
his nth victim,
with swishes
of bloodied cane
robbed
years ago
from a soulless
master.

Long forgotten
his own
body scars
for they
have seeped
deep in his soul
showing him
the ways of
world
and
he in it.

His hair
stays ruffled
stays
forever ruffled!

Sunday, March 17, 2019

A Walk Home


Clear blue skies
sneaking in through
a canopy of gulmohurs
summer temperatures
cooling in twilight
seemed like a walk
I would remember

A man lay
motionless
in muck and water
dead or drunk
I wish not enquire
passed him by
not wanting to
break my reverie
of a pleasant walk home

Paused
a moment longer
what if
pushed the thought away
walking

A man
relieving himself
further ahead
Darkening a wall
well abused before
flashing his member
in nonchalant entitlement

A man spat
on a tree trunk
owning it
not noticing
the Giant cringe
in hapless subdue

Revelers ahead
snacking with abandon
against uncollected
garbage from days bygone
feeding flies
in service
of furthering their species
helping its mission
a flowing drain

A pup ahead
ah! some relief
in his playful swagger
hungry he seemed
rummaging!
pity I took
needing to uplift
my waning mood
biscuits would do the trick
a kick he got
from a passing man
scurried the mongrel
into a drain petrified
leaving the biscuits untouched

Sigh! for wanting
a happy ending

A carcass ahead
Burnt to the bone
unrecognisable its species
An old mongrel
gnawing at it
with ferocious hunger

Keeping some biscuits near
I hurried away
Not wanting to plant
the image of man's
indignity to another species

Looked up
in search of stratocumulus
beyond the gulmohurs
only enveloping darkness
engulfing my being
in silent triumph

A walk home
in sullen silence
was all that I managed

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Wish I Was A God No More

Yet another year
I am decorated
and celebrated

They make
more of me
and bigger too
more money, I guess
to show their faith

They don't like me
anymore
for who I am

They make me
more human-like now
a Army man,
a policeman
a politician
a cricketer
a movie star
a cartoon character too

Adding more colours
and more grandeur
It resembles me
yet it does not

Have they lost the plot
or am I too old
to understand
I know not

Everyday
flowers
crackers
loud music
and dancing
leaving
a decaying
destruction
in its fray
to be cleaned
by the untouchables

And in time,
its time to say goodbye
with much fanfare and noise
they see me off
Visarjan they call it
dumping me
in the big wide ocean

There are thousands more
every year
me and me and me
choking the waters
and its peaceful inhabitants

When all is done
and dusted
left alone
and abandoned

Awaiting as I dissolve
in ever delaying plaster
a million fish and more
die a silent death
in service of humankind
whose all but abandoned them

What use am I
a god for none
there to feed
an ever rising ego
and kill
those silent beings
that I lovingly
brought into a
nurturing world
long lost its way
to greed and pomp

Wish I wasn't
a god no more
wiped from memory
of a humankind
so blinded with me
that they fail to see
the destruction they bring
to my most beautiful creation

I sigh
and wait
yet another occasion!

Prompted to write when I saw this terrifying video - https://www.facebook.com/indiatimes/videos/2222166398014603/