Thursday, July 1, 2021

Men, So Much We Get Away With

He is a charmer

Always impeccably dressed

An air of mystery about him

Young boys dream of becoming him

She was caught hook line and sinker

In his unfailing charm

 

Their wedding was a dream

Stuff of legend

Marriage was another story all-together

Everyone overlooked

As he made bad business decisions

Took to alcohol and gambling

Daily beatings followed

Made life a living hell for her

 

She tried to walk away

But they sent her back

He is your family now

Give him a child

And change he will

She bore him one

A son sewn in his cloth

 

He only got worse

Till one day, he ended his life

Could no longer handle

His bad decisions

Mounting debts

And the threats of lenders

Leaving her

To pick up the broken pieces

Of his failures

 

Her family

Still only remembers

How charming he was.

 

He was born to greatness

Far he will go

In furthering the family name

He grew up believing

Special he was

A business he inherited

Like he deserved it

Not having earned it

 

She grew up in a village

Under the watchful eyes

Of her father and brothers

 

Their families

Brought them together

With love and expectations

 

Work is all he did

Running a successful business

For 50 years

From dawn until dusk

Three lovely children

She bore him

And that was that

Her place in his life

 

In the dusk of his life

A living hell she experienced

As he demanded care

For a deteriorating body

 

With guilty relief she sighed

On his passing

No more abuses

In the twilight of her life

 

‘Maybe, I can live a little now’

Only to realize

She does not know

How to live

For herself

Anymore.

 

As a young boy

He saw men around him

Treated like gods

And so, he believed

About himself

 

They married her to him

For a decent man he was

A breadwinner, a mother

A confidante and a dutiful wife

She was meant to be

Forty years hence too

 

He failed as a husband and father

Unavailable as he was

Physically and emotionally

 

He hid his own failures

In the power he had over her

Controlling her desires and aspirations

With disdain and jealousy

In silent micro-aggressions

That kept his decent façade intact

 

It has been years since

He contributed anything financially

To run a family of seven

Yet, an inflated sense

Of his own contribution he carries

 

Never a broom

He has ever lifted

Or a soap to do the dishes

 

Like two strangers

They lead their lives

Yet,

She can’t admit to herself

She is possibly better off

Without him

 

For, who is she

Without his family name

Slowly and steadily

Her identity eroded

In service of her man

 

Not a word of criticism

She can take against him

For a God he is

As her mother taught her

And Gods don’t have flaws

Even as they make her life

A living hell.

 

He is a school dropout

From an illustrious business family

Carrying the family name forward

She is a double graduate

From a family barely surviving

It’s her angelic looks that win him over

 

Within days in the marriage

She knows her place

Kitchen it will be

For the rest of her life

It has become her place to be

In silence

In service of him and his family

 

The abuses started

Soon after the honeymoon

And have continued hence

 

The more he failed

The more violent he became

Society understood

Empathized even

Isn’t he trying?

 

They looked the other way

When she woke up with bruises

Yet another morning

Lied that she fell off the bed

His reputation intact

For he was, after all

The darling of his and her family

 

For over three decades

She has stood by him

In his multiple failed businesses

Troubles with the law

Mistresses et al

Depression and Illness too

 

With grace and silence

Or is it fear

She stands by him

Even as he blames her

For his failures and misfortunes

 

Their kids couldn’t wait

To get out a minute too long

As they found escape routes

From an abusive father

They made their own choices

Hoping their lives would be better

Forgetting that they carry

The demons of their dad

In their own relationships

 

Men of all hues

The charmers

The businessmen

The decent ones

And the one with lineage

So much we get away with.

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