Saturday, July 28, 2018

Dilip The King

Quiet were his steps
Invisible almost

Colour to paper
is all he desired

Gasped with joy
when he found
sketches, crayons, paints
laid out in invitation
beckoning him
to flare his imagination

Silently he began
every waking hour
A palace he imagined
Bringing it alive
hue by hue

Not a word he spoke
all of day one
disappearing
in breaks
to his still world
filled with colour

Day two we noticed
when meals he missed
consumed as he was
by his art

Feverish in his endeavour
adding layers of depth
to his thriving imagination

He brought it to life
colour by colour
blacks, reds and blues
in stressed richness
adding dimensions
in mysterious ways

Not a word he spoke
amongst forty others
A craftsman he was
still in his art

As colours emerged
so did he

We saw the shift
certain and real

from flirtive eyes
to steadfast gaze

from fidgety hands
to firm strokes

from drooped shoulders
to arched back

from established frowns
to almost smiles

As his art came alive
He came alive

Feverish in his pace
He slept little
as day three dawned

He knew
his time had come

Quietly he walked
Still, he gazed
as forty pairs
watched
with bated breath

'Art I love
day and night
yet, colours
not have I
at home or school

Colours I see
colours I seek
all around me
even in the drab
of my spaces

To heaven
you brought me
and let me be

You saw me
even as I am
hidden from me

Accept my frailties
with grace you did
and here I am
with grace
I say
Thank You'

and with that
he unfurled
a fantasy palace
brought alive
from deep
in his being
befriended with colours
that danced on paper
under his able command

In that moment,
his eyes shone bright
having found their light
from within his heart
steadfast and sure
they made home
to shine bright
for ever more
Never ever
to be shut again

A journey
just begun
for in art
Dilip (the king)
had found
himself
only himself
truly himself

Note: This is the story of 14-year old Dilip who attended a 4-day outdoor experiential camp by Dream a Dream and where he discovered his inner strength through art

Sunday, July 22, 2018

Raped

Tata (grandpa)
I fondly called him

Then the Rapists
one after the other
all
known to me

Kind eyes
turned lusty
heavy bodies
smelly orifices
Were they 17?

The beatings
Threats
Sneers
Cold laughter
Sent a chill
Until a log was I
Dead, yet alive

The laughter still rings
jarring my being
drowning my screams

Pleadings
Just 12, I am
falling to deaf ears

Would it be over soon
Wished I of death
Willed I of death

Time became a whisper
Dark I befriended
For light
an unfortunate reminder
Still alive am I?

12, I said?
Just right
They cheered
Hunger in their eyes
Meat I be

Let me go
Not to my birther
For I don't wish her
To see me
butchered

Let me go
To my creator
So he can face me
For it must be a He

7 months?
I know not
Time stood still
The day it began

My body
My being
My soul

RAPED

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Doll (Guddi)

Circumstances
Brought them together
Made them neighbours

Both lost their partners
In the autumn of their lives

One didn't want children
Children didn't want the other

An unlikely pair indeed
One threw tantrums
Demanded attention
The other sought
Freedom
And just a little love

One thing stood true
Both loved life
In their everyday
Ordinariness

Years together
They found a rhythm
That spouses struggle to find

An unlikely pair
They indeed were

Her children took her away
One dark day
Life was never the same
For either hence

One lost her freedom
The other her crutch
Both lost their friendship

Age was not on their side
Days went to nights
Nights to weeks
Weeks to months
Months to years

Her loneliness gnawed at her
Without her friend
She felt distraught

The decline was quick
Death came soon after
Nothing either could do
To rekindle their unlikely friendship

She watched her friend go
Too soon she thought
A few more years
Together?
Maybe?

Soon her children
Didn't want her again
Back she was
In the same neighbourhood

Nothing was the same
Without her friend
Strange was the lane 
Unfamiliar were her days

A silent tear
A prayer
Now and then

Off she went
Living on
A doll (Guddi)
For that was her name
In her tongue

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

That Knowing Frown

Some go quietly
Having lived

Some kick and turn
Wishing more of
every tiny breath

Yet others suffer
Unwilling to let go
Something! something
Holding them back.

She was one of those
Fierce ones
Holding onto life
Like a child
To its favourite toy

Kicking and turning
Fighting with a frown
Battle scars and all
Holding onto life
With all its betrayals

The frown
Is all I remember
Fierce,
Unforgiving
Ungiving

She clenched her fists
Bring it on
In her demeanour

Through
Loss,
Pain,
Suffering,
Loneliness,
Betrayals
She lived on

A few weeks back
A flicker I caught
A tiny one
Letting go

The battle
We well know
We all will lose

She did too
Last night

In her final moments
Like in life
She needed none
She had none

Death took her
Where it awaited her

And just like that
Today, she was
Just bone and flesh

And all that stayed
That knowing
Frown!

Impulse

He saw an approaching train
An impulse
What if...

He took a tiny step forward
An impulse
What if...

His imagination
Having taken the step
Felt the thud
Deep in the bones
The crack of the skull
The mangled remains

All too quick
He watched his body
Disappear beneath

In a moment too soon
Life was sucked
disappearing soul

In a jolt
Back he was
The train
Sped past him
Leaving him sweaty
And shaken
Just a step behind

An impulse
Gone too soon...

Darkness Within

It creeps up slowly
When you least expect it
Where you least expect it

You feel the shift
Deep in your bones
In a moment of pause
Before the floodgates open

You wish it to go away
You will it go away
It takes over

A moment
Of vulnerability
Is all it needs
A thought
A feeling
A question
To own you again

In a perfectly sane day
It creeps in from within
Grabs you hard
And takes you down

Paralysed I was
In dissonance
Bright sunshine
Happy people around
And the enveloping darkness
Within

It gnaws at me
For hours on end
An epic battle
I know I will lose

I slump down
My body gives way
Succumbing
To the enveloping darkness

Frantically,
I seek
Threads to grab onto
Bits of happiness
Joy and laughter too
Memories of happier times
Love and friendships

The more I seek
The more futile
It seems
For those very thoughts
Feed this frenzy

Taking me down
To darkness within
That seems
Impossible
To rise out from

I give in!